CAMIF
by Elionu
Summary: When a naive fanfiction writer decides to write in a Mary Sue, she is put on trial by the committee of Characters Against Mischaracterization In Fanfiction, otherwise known as CAMIF. They are not pleased. Multifandom and no-fandom-really crack.


Rachel was a fourteen-year-old self-professed Whovian who was taking her first foray into writing fan fiction. After all, she knew enough about the show, having watched all of the episodes that counted from the three Doctors that really counted, several times each. She had an idea thought up that nobody else could have ever been so brilliant to have invented (despite about half of the fan fictions being of this sort). She began to write.

_The Tenth Doctor would never be over the loss of his beloved Rose, the only woman he had ever loved. But this would soon change. A flash of bright light appeared in the TARDIS console room, and no sooner had it faded that the Doctor could see a normal human teenage girl, who looked amazed to be here. Well, by human standards she was ordinary, but to the Doctor, she was hauntingly beautiful. She introduced herself as Raven Serenity Leanne Havilland. She-_

At this point, Rachel vanished into thin air, and reappeared elsewhere. Given that she was sitting in a computer chair before, she fell onto the floor of a small sterile looking room. It appeared to be a waiting room, except without a reception desk. Rachel went over to one of the chairs lined up against a wall and sat down, near a small group of other confused-looking people. Weirdly enough, they all seemed to be white English-speaking girls in their mid-teens, looking ever the stereotype of the 21st century teenager in the Western World. Half of them were looking frustrated at their identical iPhones, which apparently weren't working. Although why Rachel was with all of them, she had no idea. She was nothing like them. She was _special_.

Eventually, she was summoned over the PA system, and entered the one door that this waiting room had. Inside was what looked like a miniature courtroom, with one chair front and center, facing a panel of mismatched people on a raised platform, looking all the world like a jury. Although not all of them looked dressed right to be in court- there was a man in what looked like yellow pajamas and go-go boots, and a guy who looked like he was from medieval times, or some fantasy land.

"Rachel Harris, please be seated." said the portly man in the center. He had a moustache and dressed like a 19th century English gentleman.

"Am I in trouble?" asked Rachel.

"Not so much." said a small blonde woman who looked about 18, and dressed in an outfit that looked like it was from the 1960s. "This is an intervention."

"What sort of intervention?" inquired Rachel. "I don't do drugs or anything!"

At this there was a chuckle from a tall guy in plaid, who got a smack from a red-haired woman in robes on his left.

"Ahem!" said Head Gent (as Rachel mentally referred to the first man), and the room quieted down. "We are Characters against Mischaracterization in Fan fiction, but you can refer to us as 'CAMIF', or 'The Committee'. You are here because you were writing a self-insert Mary Sue fic. This is a grave offense to us."

"So wait, you're all fictional characters?" asked Rachel

"Yes, in your sense of the word. To us, we are quite real, which makes us real as well as fictional." explained the Asian guy in the not-pajamas.

"Of course, you probably don't recognize us. Many of us have gone through several different portrayals, and are seen in a certain way by the public that differs from the original intent" said Plaid Guy, gesturing at Head Gent, "and others aren't well remembered by the fanbase, especially one with lots of characters" he gestured at 60s girl. "Each of us is a representative for a different major fandom."

"Speaking of which," said Redhead Lady, "where's our Disney representative?"

"Out sick. Her husband sends his regards from their castle." replied a plain looking man in a suit.

"Thank you, Dr. Banner, that will do." said Head Gent. "Now can we please get back to the matter of Miss Harris?"

"Yes, sir." said a tall man who looked like he was plucked right out of Middle Earth. Come to think about it, he was probably their representative.

"Miss Harris," he continued "you have been found in the process of writing a Mary Sue fanfic, which is in violation of Article 3, section L of the Fair Portrayal Code. This section states that no Original Characters are to exist as both an Author Substitute and a romantic interest in the same Verse. How do you plead?"

"What is this?" sputtered Rachel. "A girl can't write now? Whatever happened to free speech? You've already been created and placed into popular culture, a single fanfic won't affect much!"

"There is nothing wrong with free speech" said one of the few to have not spoken up yet, an old man in brown robes. "However, it not only influences the shape of the fictional realms, but it also affects the characters themselves. If a story idea becomes the headcanon of enough fans, it manifests itself as part of the character. This can be either very good or very bad. Usually bad."

"Yeah, like with Castiel." interjected the guy in plaid. He never used to have identifiable wings, but then everybody decided that his wings were 15 feet long, looked like a bird's and were black. So now he walks around able to manifest giant black bird wings sometimes. Of course, that's a rare positive example."

"And don't get me started on the Whovians." sixties girl complained. "So many of them deny the existence of the show before 2005. Which leads to some of us occasionally losing corporeality! You're lucky I'm here at all today. The Expanded Universe characters sometimes disappear altogether for months. Most of the fanbase doesn't even care about the first 40 years or so of Doctor Who. And so most of us are forgotten and we stagnate, while a few characters get all the attention. To them, it's as if we don't exist at all!" she finished, looking sad.

"Not to mention what happened to Oz after that movie came out. Whole regions and characters were wiped from existence! Those poor Quadlings." added the guy who was apparently Bruce Banner. "Also, there were a few times in which Dr. Watson over there" he pointed at Head Gent "turned into a woman. And once he was a robot. That was weird."

"Anyway" said Watson, clearly eager to end this discussion "We should wrap this up. Miss Harris is probably bored, and we've got someone who went overboard with the crossovers up next."

"Because SuperWhoMerAvengPotterLock just wasn't enough, huh." drawled the guy in the space pajamas.

"Indeed." said Redhead Lady. Miss Harris, you will be returned to your dimension, and will be prohibited from internet access in your domicile for 24 hours while you think this all over. Gather enough offences, and you will receive more serious punishment."

"I understand." said Rachel. No sooner had she said this than she appeared back in her room, slightly freaked by the whole experience.

Meanwhile, the committee was re-organizing itself. "Hikaru, go summon the next offender" said Mrs. Ginny Potter. "But not for fifteen minutes. Let's all go get coffee."

And the Committee of Characters against Mischaracterization in Fan fiction, today comprising of Dr. John Watson, Ginny Potter, Vicki Pallister, Sam Winchester, Hikaru Sulu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bruce Banner, and Lord Faramir of Gondor, all went out on a coffee break.


End file.
